Tuesday, February 3, 2015
In a different light.
I am surrounded by students who are apparently busy working.
I can hear my colleague encouraging them in their research.
I am here early.
I ignore the other people in the room.
I avoid eye-contact.
I sit down.
I tune out.
I am elsewhere.
I am nowhere in particular
I contemplate photos in no particular order.
I am not looking to do anything.
I let myself wander.
I love this feeling of freedom.
Where will I be taken today?
I pick an image out of thousands.
It will be this one.
It catches my imagination.
I reframe it in my blog.
I wait to see if anything comes of it.
I may well have binned this a line downwards.
I enjoy this feeling of being on an edge.
I am writing a fine line between survival and oblivion.
There are no ideas here.
It is a doodle.
I identify this as a militant act.
It doesn't answer to any prompt.
It doesn't reply to any request.
It doesn't follow any instructions.
It represents freedom for me.
The image came out of a moment such as this
I have lived with it for over 16 years.
It has become familiar.
Back then, I had a couple of cans of black and gold spray paint.
I don't remember why.
I could choose to dive back and explore.
I choose to focus on the image.
I had a large piece of paper.
I had some old empty frames.
I had the remains of some Japanese wallpaper that a cat had destroyed.
I had a few bits of wood, a broken hat-stand.
I had made three or four images with these materials over one day.
I remember being completely taken up with the creative play.
I am not sure it this is artistic or autistic.
I seem to remember having destroyed one I preferred in a fit of nihilism.
I feel an instant of sadness.
This picture remains.
A few weeks ago, it caught my eye again.
It was propped up against a wall.
I messed around with a smartphone, taking photos, playing with my reflection in the glass of the frame.
I mangled it, I cut it up with two or three apps, transforming it, giving it new life.
Somehow, the image has travelled down over the years to reappear here in a different light.
I shall take pleasure in contemplating it here.