No child left behind.

Will man's ingenuity know no limits? 

Thanks to centuries of scientific study, what people thought of 'education' in the dark ages, at the beginning of the 21st century, has now been wholly replaced with an infallible model.

Preamble.

In those early years of what was termed at the time the 'MOOC' (massive open online course), massive numbers of learners fell by the wayside. 

[Such wastage is, I know, hard to conceive in our modern times.]

These 'unlearners' appeared strangely unable or unwilling at the time to validate way-stage badges or to communicate in any recordable way in the carefully designed, artificially intelligent, dynamic, quasi-complex, learning ecologies of the time.

In modern environments, the role of well trained multi-tasking, multi-ethical, universally adaptable, omniscient, insomniac, expert learners, teachers, researchers, monitors, facilitators, foremen/women, sales representatives and their ilk has been recognised within THE COMMUNITY as being essential to the success of our 'No child left behind' educational nirvana.

Modern 'key nodes' have been trained or have developed independently (and been officially badged  and sanctioned by THE COMMUNITY) mega-sophisticated skills to identify different species of learner in the eco-system.

'Key nodes' are able to spot and enclose into comforting groups: 'sheep', 'lion', 'tiger', 'gannet', 'lurker', 'troll', X, Y, Z, type learners to avoid any risk of stressful tension between them.  

In the event of a sudden surge of learner candidates, a 'key node' need only click the virtual 'help' button to have an instant increase in numbers of 'key nodes' to meet statutory requirements of THE COMMUNITY ratios for 'key nodes' to 'unkey nodes'.

(Just imagine the difficulty for key nodes in the dark ages! I know it is difficult to imagine now!)

They are even able to detect increased blood pressure of 'unkey' nodes which might reduce life expectancy (of course all learners today have the right to live until the statutory age of 140 years old).  

'Key nodes' are even able to call upon back up 'key node' teachers/facilitators/monitors (et al) who will instantly adapt to a group's diverse expectations and provide them with ideal learning conditions.

They will, of course, exclude all potentially dangerous predators and parasites, ignorant cretins, trolls and the ilk (of course all learners have the right to live until the statutory age of 140 years old).

Case study.

As the 'key nodes' looked through their extraordinarily extensive and wholly ethical educational ecosystem manual, they felt that unusual feeling of 'uncertainty' which caused their pulse to rise almost perceptibly.

Brian, unusually for a 'key node', felt almost like emitting, what for him was most improbable, a potentially offensive (you never know how another 'organisim' might interpret spontaneous laughter) quasi-nervous giggle.  

"So, friends, we are facing a ghost in our machine."

The 'friends' nodded solemnly in agreement.

"We have noted on our sensors a number of....(at this moment Brian hesistated and clicked through the universal glossary for a word which had become archaic)...sorry bear with me now,....a number of...er....er.... lurkers."

"A number of whaaaat?"

The 'friends' gasped in unison.

"Er.... lurkers, that is what it says here," replied Brian, almost (though that would be an archaic interpretation) apologetically.

"We have a number of nodes who are apparently not responding."

"That is.....immpposssible."

(One or two of the 'friends' were able to find a word (an extraordinary feat in the circumstances).

"Yes, I am afraid so," Brian went on, "It is quite clear, there are nodes who appear to be connected to THE COMMUNITY, and they appear not to participate in any apparent or recognisable way."

The "key nodes" mumbled and murmured but were quite unable to find any words to express (what might have been interpreted at another epoque as signs of confusion)...themselves.

"So what has been tried so far?"

One of the less troubled 'key nodes' ventured.

"Well we have looked at the data from the 'reassuring prompt facilitation', 'the exciting bait attempts' 'the species specific feeding program', we even tried out the 'mid-term party mode' but there appears to be no reply. The nodes are not lighting up on any of our sensors. Nevertheless they are still signed up in the ecosystem."

The "key nodes" mumbled and murmured but were quite unable to find any words to express (what might have been interpreted at another epoque as signs of confusion)...themselves.

"Who is responsible for this....this....(at this moment Brian hesistated and clicked through the universal glossary for a word which had become archaic) ...oversight."

The "key nodes" mumbled and murmured but were quite unable to find any words to express (what might have been interpreted at another epoque as signs of confusion)...themselves.

"I fear," Brian, almost whispering now, went on, "We will have to review our manual of Universal Ethics and Conduct."

The "key nodes" gasped.

"Yes,' Brian, almost whispering now, went on, "Someone, er some people, er something, here is...responsible."

The "key nodes" mumbled and murmured but were quite unable to find any words to express (what might have been interpreted at another epoque as signs of confusion)...themselves.

"Yes," Brian said, "I said:  RESPONSIBLE."

Image credits:

Anders Sandberg

Glory, Glory Hallelujah.

https://www.flickr.com/photos/arenamontanus/634506626/