“I looked up at the mass of signs and stars in the night sky and laid myself open for the first time to the benign indifference of the world.”
Be fitting
I tried on a variety of costumes...
They didn't fit.
I was not fit for purpose.
No that one will not do.
That was me.
No that one will not do.
I was not one of them.
No that one will not do.
It just wasn't me.
In the end I gave up on costumes.
Be longing.
I don't belong...
This book belongs to Simon.
I liked that printed on a book.
It is decorative and has substance.
I don't belong...
It appears to be printed on my forehead.
I don't seem to have an ounce of decorative substance in me...
There are fringe benefits.
One has a better view asat the edge.
B. word.
Asat is that a word?
It will be now.
I have proclaimed it to be so.
Now that word belongs to me.
Ha! I drag it here.
Can you hear it kicking and screaming and protesting its insignificance?
'I am not a word. I am not a word.'
You can't have words revolting!
What is the word coming to?
Be longing.
Do those that belong feel where they start and others end?
I was never quite sure about that.
Do those that don't belong feel where they start and where others end?
I was never quite sure about that.
Does shared alienation represent a sense of belonging?
I was never quite sure about that.
I like writing.
I suppose I belong here.
I am not sure that here belongs to me.
'I won't be long now.'
Ah that's its end.
I am quite sure about that.
Image.
La Silla Observatory
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Night_sky#/media/File:Starry_Night_at_La_Silla.jpg
This triggered a number of thoughts relevant to my current situation. Alienation is a nice word to play with but the term "benign indifference" has me stuck.
ReplyDeleteWhile thinking about this I'll distract you with
Loss of self: a fundamental form of suffering in the chronically ill
Cathy Charmaz
Accessed Aug 23, 2015 Via Marie Ennis O'Connor
http://www.aleciashepherd.com/writings/articles/other/Loss%20of%20self%20A%20fundamental%20form%20of%20suffering.pdf
Have you seen Sarah's latest comment at NomadWarMachine? Being virtual is as complicated as being that other thing.
Think 'benign indifference' is the more interesting :-)
DeleteBe Longing. Now that resounds with my interest in liminal spaces.
ReplyDeleteAlas, I like studying them, perhaps because I so frequently inhabit them?
Jeffrey, I wonder if anybody doesn't inhabit liminal spaces?
DeleteSeveral responses: http://impedagogy.com/wp/blog/2015/09/13/longing-to-belong-a-handwritten-response/
ReplyDeleteLiminal spaces and the spaces "between". Are either truly third spaces?
ReplyDelete