Saturday, November 22, 2014

Distant voices.

I am having a slightly weird dialogue with Kevin Hodgson.

It started when he remixed a conversation that I was having with my father.

Suddenly Kevin's guitar and voice appeared in my father's bedroom.

What the hell was he doing there?

[remix of recording which appears in Progressive Lenses Post.]

Context collapse...

It was a lovely surprise to hear him.
It was as if he had suddenly appeared from behind the sofa while I am writing this.

Time collapse...

Oh hello Kevin!

Suddenly I am speaking to Kevin (I mean my father) and he is suddenly able to play the guitar and speak with an American accent. I mean this is seriously weird.

Secret collapse...

I don't know if Kevin somehow picked up on mindwaves, but I have been thinking that I would like to do more voice stuff.

I miss the theatre and I would like to investigate what I can do with the recorded voice as a medium.

Medium collapse...

I suggested to him that we do some sort of dialogue. He immediately responded and set up er..., he set up a Titan Pad.

This was again a surprise because it was quite unlike any dialogue that I had had in mind.

This dialogue is at first sight more like a discussion.

Context collapse...

I was suddenly presented in his writing (speaking?) with a situation that I had never knowingly experienced called a 'teacher gathering'.

I know teacher meetings, conferences but gatherings  - that sounds sort of informal and maybe fun to me.

Nope don't do gatherings. [interesting that I would never say Nope in 'real life'  - that is me acting]

We then started talking about voice.

Medium collapse...

When I say we started talking, well we are writing.
It is not synchronous.

When I was writing the conversation with my father, the dialogue was synchronous.

I was actually speaking with him when I was writing it.

I would stop to hear him speak.  How weird is that?

I wasn't writing, I was speaking.

Now I am not sure if I am writing or speaking?

He (Kevin) wanted to know whether I am the same online as offline.

He (Kevin) wanted to know whether there is one of me?

Distant voices

Well, I am pretty sure that I am the same online and offline.

I am not at all the same as this person who is taking over writing this sentence.
[later editing - this is weird]

I am variously absent and present in my writing.

I am equally variously present and absent when I am speaking.

I am fairly sure that I feel much better when I am absent or at least when I am not aware of my presence.

I suppose this is what they call the flow.

I suppose I am pretty much most the time in a flow.

I suppose this is why I am so annoying to people who imagine that I am actually there.

Presence or absence?

I suppose that when I am absent other people might imagine or say that I have 'presence'.

Well I suppose I have presence in my absence.

I was thinking about this.

I suddenly started thinking of myself when I am acting (hence the photo).

When I am acting, I have been absorbed by a role. I am pretty much absent. I am just lending myself as an instrument.

Writing this at the moment, I am variously aware of presence and absence.

I have a vague awareness that I am watching myself (a self?) writing this.

This is all getting a little confusing.

As I said to Kevin, there are often times when I write that I do not recognise the voice of the person writing.

I recognise the voices of others. I don't recognise these voices which others might call my voice.

That's it, I am completely confused.

What or who am I confused with?

I am lost now. [of course you idiot - you love playing around with roles, you are a (play) actor goddam it]

Yes he is.

Thanks Kevin.

Thanks Kevin.


  1. Hey Simon. This is one of ur posts that I struggle to respond to with sufficient depth. But can I say u have a beautiful radio voice (so not just singing) and I'd love to hear more of it, if that's a direction you plan to take :)

    1. Thanks Maha. What's sufficient depth? Yes I want to do more voice work.

  2. "When I am acting, I have been absorbed by a role. I am pretty much absent. I am just lending myself as an instrument."

    Yep. Performing is like that. I'm not an actor; I'm a musician. And when I'm on stage, performing, what you see and hear is an act. And sometimes that act comes from a place far away, or at any rate, outside me.

    1. Bill hi! Thanks for comment. I am very happy to get more people who get this. So we agree on this phenomenon - when performing we lose ourselves - have you written/read more on this I think I need to go back and read Stanislavski.