"It is good to love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is well done.”
"It's the greenest spring that I can ever remember. It's just incredible right now. It's stunning. You walk outside when it's sunny and it's like O-M-G! W-T-F! And then there are no words...."
"What we do with tools and resources is more important than the tools and resources themselves. However, without tools and resources there is precious little we can do.
Many (e.g., Vygotsky, Leont’ev, Wertsch) have argued persuasively that learning is mediated. Some have argued (again, I think persuasively) that the primary tool that mediates learning is language. Whether learning is being supported through conversation, lecture, argument, video, adaptive courseware, plain old textbook, or Google Hangout, words are absolutely critical to supporting learning."
Now, I think I am going to scream.
"Aaaagggghhh."
Is that a word?
More stories.
We hugged.
We said nothing.
More stories.
I am hugging you now.
Do you feel it?
Do you feel better now?
Sorry.
No worries.
More stories.
"Aaagggghhh."
He screamed, as it hit his leg.
I remember a song.
A song for when there are no words.
They never learn.
Maybe because there are no words for their fucking war.
More stories.
I commented on David's blog. "Language and learning is much more than words. What you can't pick up are relationships, moments, emotion, motivation."
I commented on David's blog.
"Aren't people always objectified? Isn't content people objectified?" I commented on David's blog. "I agree with the problem of seeing people as simply resources." David didn't reply. Sometimes no words speak louder. I saw he has defined a new term. "OER-enabled pedagogy" "OOER!! Blimey guv!" an invented character said in fake Cockney. I didn't see any point in leaving comment. I left that to the other.
Sometimes no words speak louder. More stories. I saw a tweet. I think Maha shared it. It appeared in "my stream". Fancy that. Someone didn't see themselves as an OER. I couldn't see myself as an OER either. I sometimes can see myselves as an OthER or OthERs. I had a momentary lapse of reason. Sorry. No words...frankly. "Aaagggghhh."
An OthER More stories You know something? I sometimes think that selfies are insult to our many selves and yours. People don't take selfies when they hug to say good bye. People don't take selfies with the fucking coffin...do they? More stories. There are so many more stories. I found a quote of Bell Hooks. That's thanks to Suzan and her stories...I have never heard.
And then.
More stories.
Yes.
Yours.
What is possible?
Thanks.
Keep it in mind.
Faithfully.
Simon.
With thanks to you, my friends and a man at a bar.
“I have wanted to kill myself a hundred times, but somehow I am still in love with life. This ridiculous weakness is perhaps one of our more stupid melancholy propensities, for is there anything more stupid than to be eager to go on carrying a burden which one would gladly throw away, to loathe one’s very being and yet to hold it fast, to fondle the snake that devours us until it has eaten our hearts away?”
It was a comment of Daniel Bassill that set it off: "I've followed Simon's posts for about half a year now and they are 'wide ranging'. Mine are more focused. If we have a problem, how do we solve it? Who needs to be involved?" I thought about that term 'wide ranging.' I felt downbeat at first: "Daniel is right, wide-ranging, rambling,I should be more focused." Then I thought back to an old school report. "Simon clearly has his ups and downs." (or words to that effect)
Christ, every little thing makes me feel down beat at times.
It occurred to me that what for others appears 'wide ranging' is in fact for me focused.
I am at times all at sea. And then I hit dry land. If I have a problem, I attempt to solve it. When it remains unsoluble, I find that difficult to accept.
It gets me down, unreasonably.
Being alternatively sensitive and insensitive is a fierce mixture.
If I feel, I attempt to write for better and for worse. Writing keeps me grounded.
I write to thrive or to survive.
Sometimes when I am not writing I am barely surviving.
Sometimes when I am not writing I am absolutely thriving.
Sometimes I thrive and barely survive the same day.
I try to figure out who doesn't need to be involved.
If I am feeling my way around in the dark, this place can be a last resort.
I couldn't have been more focused. I was wrighting my ship. I was digging for good humour to keep me going. The amnesia wasn't a joke. To fight it I found humour. There was no other path forward.
I thought back to Daniel's comment. I remembered the work that I had done. I remembered the grief that drags me down. I remembered the priority that I be well. It was that which Daniel's comment brought me. I shall attempt to row less and sail more, to wait for a fair breeze, to batten down the hatches when the storms unfurl. I yearn for calm. Oh fuck it. Oh shut it. Surf your waves of sarcasm Simon. I sit down and listen. Let the others take out their oars. My youngest daughter is reading a favourite book. "Peace at last." Nothing else matters.
How could he have planned? HOW COULD HE HAVE PLANNED?
It appeared in the bottom right hand corner.
Shriek.
"No matter how good you think you are at multitasking, you will not be truly focusing your attention on the speaker, who has no doubt spent hours preparing for this moment." Twitter wouldn't do. Instagram wouldn't weigh it up. Scratched pens captured some of its portent. No close reading. Only fragments. A moment? A collaged haphazard. Shriek. No serious argument would suffice.
Shriek.
For a moment it comes back to me.
Why now?
Why like this?
This is not what he meant.
No this is not what it meant at all.
Shriek.
For a moment I think of "my students".
A remark of Jesse Stommel came back to me.
"Every one of my students has a different cultural context. When we say 'My students are...', we reduce their complexity. @Jessifer#digped
from light to darkness,
from surface to depths
from fish shoals to urchin.
Attention fuses...
instinct,
unthinking flow,
imagined danger.
Shriek.
Water, waves, sunlight, clouds of bubbles, warmth, a snorkelled breath.
Are you truly focusing your attention?
We have spent hours preparing for this moment.
This is what it meant....
This is what he meant now.
WHY?
Is it so difficult to [under]stand?
Post Script.
"You shall no longer take things at second or third hand, not look through the eyes of the dead, nor feed on the spectres in books. You shall not look through my eyes either, nor take things from me, you shall listen to all sides and filter them from yourself."
verb: keep; 3rd person present: keeps; past tense: kept; past participle: kept; gerund or present participle: keeping
1.
have or retain possession of.
"my father would keep the best for himself"
retain or reserve for future use.
"return one copy to me, keeping the other for your files"
synonyms:
retain, hold on to, keep for oneself, retain possession of, keep possession of,retain in one's possession, keep hold of, not part with, hold fast to, hold back;More
continue or cause to continue in a specified condition, position, course, etc.
"I kept quiet while Emily talked on"
synonyms:
remain, continue to be, stay, carry on being, go on being, persist in being, not cease to be
"I was trying desperately to keep calm"
continue doing or do repeatedly.
"he keeps going on about the murder"
synonyms:
persist in, go on, keep on, carry on, continue, do something constantly, do something incessantly, do something continually, not stop doing something,persevere
support (someone, especially a woman) financially in return for sexual favours.
"he was keeping a woman on the side"
4.
honour or fulfil (a commitment or undertaking).
"I'll keep my promise, naturally"
synonyms:
comply with, obey, respect, observe, conform to, abide by, stick to, act in accordance with, act according to, have regard to, heed, follow, pay attention to,defer to, take notice of; More
