Very small samples.

I had typed my prejudice in black and white.

"They generalise from very small samples."

I took in its catastrophic irony.

"If you look at the teachers...."


I categorised.

"This idea that my learners will have learnt x is probably based on something...which is probably faulty from the start."

It all sounded (un)convincingly adamant.

Even on the page.

Grid-locked.

"What we need is a grid of criteria", was the refrain.

"Otherwise how can we choose?"

"How can we judge fairly?"

"They are demanding a ranking."

"We have to do this with tight deadlines."

"If we have cross-disciplinary collaboration that will look good."

"If we have a partnership with business that will look good."

What the fuck is grading to do with research?

Grid-locked.

I sat down in the same chairs as the week before.

I set my phone to time.

I chose the first student to start the evaluation.

"Don't worry it won't last long."

"You'll be fine."

"No really, you'll be ok."

How the fuck did I know that?

The candidate (deliberate objectification) fled in panic.

The candidate knew much better than I.

What the fuck is grading  to do with learning?

Blank Page.

The "blank page"
takes up a lot of space.






















It is resilient.

It lies:

"I am just a blank page."

"I am just a blank page."

"Trust me."

Never trust a blank page.

It has a poker face.

How it bids convincingly!

"No one will know who you are, your name is hidden."

"You will know your 'corrector'.

"Remember not to write in the margins, for that space is reserved for your correctors."

"Your text will be the body of the page."

"Your body, sic, will be 'corrected', 'noted', 'marked', 'sorted', 'added to our statistics'.

It is a web of lies.

"Do not fear injustice as the system is scrupulously fair." 

"Your examination will be anonymous to protect you from any bias...(to protect us from any accusation of bias)."

"Remember to speak in the language which we recognise."

"Remember to read the question carefully."

"Do not cheat."

(Cheating is reserved for examiners.)

No page is ever blank.

No vessel is ever empty.

Born to the world, "my" story is already long.

I already carry with me other people's burdens, other people's hopes, other people's judgements,
other people's ignorance, other people's breath, other people's rhythm, other people's words, other people's love, other people's indifference, other people's rules, other people's failings, other people's victories, other people's doubts, other people's silences.

Born to the world, "your" story is already long.

You already carry with you other people's burdens, other people's hopes, other people's judgements,
other people's ignorance, other people's breath, other people's rhythm, other people's words, other people's love, other people's indifference, other people's rules, other people's failings, other people's victories, other people's doubts, other people's silences.

No vessel is ever empty.

Speak those stories out loud, listen to them well.

Listen to your body in silence.

Breathe deep and lighten our loads.

Blank pages are loaded.

Examine them closely, then rip them up.

Let us work together, for we must write anew.

Footnotes.

On correction.

1."The 'Enlightenment, which discovered the liberties, also invented the disciplines."

2."It's my hypothesis that the individual is not a pre-given entity which is seized on by the exercise of power.  The individual, with his identity and characteristics, is the product of a relation of power exercised over bodies, multiplicities, movements, desires, forces."

3."I don't feel that it is necessary to know exactly what I am. The main interest in life and work is to become someone else that you were not in the beginning. If you knew when you began a book what you would say at the end, do you think you would have the courage to write it?

What is true for writing and love relationships is true also for life. The game is worthwhile in so far as we don't know where it will end."

Michel Foucault.

Should we fill their vessels?

"Twitter does not constitute a place for the shared pursuit of truth, rather it constitutes a shop window in which we can each advertise our merchandise."

"In a society which rests not upon a coherent, thoughtful attitude but upon noise and a shared passion for joining in the noise, it may be that silence takes on a new significance."

Torn Halves


On reading.

This writing didn't come from nowhere.

It flows from friends. It flows from drawing...breath...from reading...from dreaming...from...research.

I feel like a blind man bashing my head against the walls to find a door or perhaps a window.

No amount of writing within their ruled lines will change us.

On reading Adrienne Rich, I felt less alone last night.

Working on #lesmauxdesmots has sparked off a wild reading web.

I am thankful for this exquisite corpse.

It has life.

Current reading:

Foucault. M., Surveiller et Punir.

Bateson. M., Steps to an Ecology of the Mind.

Henzogenrath.  An American Body Politic.

Ong. W.J., Orality and Literacy.

Bell Hooks  Teaching to Transgress.

Rich. A. Arts of the Possible.

Brotton. J. A History of the World in Ten Maps.

Acknowledgements

Thank you Chris friend.

Thank you to Laura Ritchie for opening more windows.

It was you Laura who gave me impulse to write this.

She posted an image which I half saw.

I went to sleep and it was that image which I saw for the first time.

Thank you Terry, Kevin, MaryAnn, Torn, Sarah, Dave, Ron, Tania et al for opening windows.

I feel that I am able to breathe more freely in your company.

This work can not be finished.

I don't know where it will lead.

We must indeed close our eyes to more clearly see.

Take a deep breath.